Here are some things that helped us get through the two months Abby spent in the NICU. Please remember that every family has a different experience and these are things that helped us-- but may be different for the family you want to reach out to.
MEALS
- During our NICU stay, we ate dinners near the hospital so gift cards to local restaurants were immensely helpful.
- A friend sent us a fruit bouquet, and since we were at home in the mornings it was great to have that fresh fruit already cut so I could grab a few pieces on the way out the door.
- Another friend sent us a box full of nutrition bars like Zone bars, granola bars, etc. Again, this "grab and go" type food was a lifesaver because I could eat it on the train or the way into the hospital. Once in the NICU, food was not allowed so often this was the only food I would eat until they kicked us out for rounds at 7PM.
- We had many offers of dinner drop-offs, and once Abby came home that was incredibly helpful. It's especially wonderful if you have someone coordinating the meals so the family doesn't have to worry about it. Sites like mealtrain.com help concerned friends and family organize dinner drop-offs.
VISITS FROM FAMILY/FRIENDS
This will vary widely by family, but for us hospital visits from friends could be difficult because only two people were allowed in the room at one time. That meant one of the parents had to leave while someone visited. Sometimes having a visitor was helpful, like when we needed a break and didn't want to leave Abby alone. Also, when my husband had to go to work and I was in there by myself the time passed very slowly and it was helpful to have a friend. Please be considerate and ask the family if they are accepting visits at that time, and/or let them know you'd love to visit if they would like companionship. Showing up unexpectedly might put stress on the family, no matter how much they love you. Again, this varies from family to family and even with the visitor so just be sure to ask before visiting.
GETTING UPDATES
We used Carepages.com to communicate with our circle of support. This allowed us to focus on Abby and not an endless list of phones calls and emails to answer. We LOVED the messages of support we received via phone, email, Carepage message, etc.-- just know that your NICU family may not be able to respond back right away.
GIVING GIFTS
Again, we were overwhelmed with the amount of support we received. People donated cash and gift cards to help with the expenses. Both were extremely helpful in alleviating the financial burden of such a stay. Parking and fast dinners alone cost over $2,000 for the 50 days Abby was in the NICU. One of the hardest parts of being on the receiving end was that I often did not even have a free minute to respond back. It weighed heavily on me, but every spare moment was spent sleeping because we were so exhausted from the travel, visits, worry, doctors, appointments, insurance companies, etc. Please be understanding if the family doesn't acknowledge the gift right away. It took an average of 6 months to a year for me to get some thank-yous out!!!
Along those lines, Care Bags are available for purchase if you would like to send one to a NICU family. Care Bags cost $25 each, plus shipping. See
this page to find out what's in a Care Bag, and
email me if interested and we can get one mailed as soon as possible!
